"All kids are like that"

The dreaded phrase that puts me in the awkward position of justifying the very impairments I strive to help my son compensate for. That statement, usually offered by way of support, often leads to 'one upsmanship' (or should I call it 'one *down*smanship') of accentuating problems and reinforcing stereotypes.

On the one hand, I would like to claim membership in the community of more typical parents with more typical developmental needs and crises. On the other, living with AS does come with its own set of issues. I once heard Carol Gray say that AS kids are like all other kids. . . only 'more so'. I really liked the way she puts this.

Just because someone is on the spectrum, doesn't automatically mean everything he/she does or says is *because* of AS. But being an "Aspie" (and I know not all folks like that term) is more than a collection of descriptive signs and symptoms in a medical text. It's a feedback loop--our central processing/wiring effects our developmental path, our developmental experiences effect out central wiring. AS is not just *what* we are, but also *who* we are.

So saying "all kids are like that" or "all kids do that" or "all kids go through that" both minimizes the real struggles that individuals with AS/Autism have as well as (overtly or covertly) accentuates the gap between NT's and AC's.