I'm almost reluctant to write this for fear that it gives the 'other side' ammunition to say how hard life is on the spectrum and wouldn't it be so much the better to have a 'cure' for Asperger's Syndrome. I also don't like to whine and I *do* understand how blessed I am with the support and love I have in my life.
Or maybe this is just my expression of a mid-life crisis and has little to do with AS, or raising kids with AS/NLD. I'm tired. Not physically tired, but emotionally tired. I spend a great deal of my life taking care of other people--both in my home life and my work life.
I've been a physical therapist for 20 years and I know I'm good at what I do. I specialize in working with people who have chronic pain and dual diagnoses (psychiatric and physical stresses). I think I'm burning out.
I'm so far behind in my billing that there are months of care provided I won't get paid for and the billing agent I've contracted with keeps threatening to quit if I can't get more organized and timely in submitting my billing. Whenever I think of dealing with my Medicare paperwork, I just cringe inside--the details and the following up are beyond me right now.
I missed almost a whole week of work earlier in the month with a bout of pneumonia and by the end of that week, was happier than I'd felt in quite some time. Getting back to work the following monday brought the same crushing stress right back.
I'm not looking for pity or for solutions, I'm just trying to work my way through what is 'garden variety stress', what is career burnout, what is related to my very Aspie self on the verge of overload.
I need to make some difficult decisions about my PT career, but I can't make them while I'm stuck in the day to day details of keeping my practice running. Currently, I'm planning on taking the month of August off from the practice if only to find a place where I can stand still and analyze what's going on.