In a few weeks, I'm taking part in two panels at the ASA meeting in Rhode Island. It's taken me several years to get to the point of feeling comfortable with something like this.
It's not the speaking part. I've been an invited speaker in dozens of national conferences over the past 20 years, I've guest lectured at Universities, been interviewed on TV and radio. But *all* of that has been in my capacity as a physical therapist and an expert in my sub-field. By all accounts, I am an excellent speaker--I don't read prepared remarks or simply recite the information on my slides, and I connect with the audience. No, the speaking itself is not the problem.
It's the "Hey, look at me, I'm a successful adult with AS" issue. I dislike calling attention to myself. I loathe being turned into "a self-narrating zoo exhibit". (A phrase I first heard from my friend, Phil Schwartz, though I don't know if it is of his creation.)
So why did I agree to speak? Partly because if I don't, than I miss an opportunity to change the conversation--to challenge perceptions in the 'NT' world about living on the spectrum. There is more than one paradox/danger here: If I *do* speak up/come 'out', then I risk personal stress-overload, thus reinforcing stereotypes of Aspie failings. And, invariably, some will simply deny I *am* an Aspie, simply because I can be eloquent and display emotional literacy.
And for the privilege of taking several days from my work (I'm in private practice-if I don't work, I don't get paid), upending my own typical schedule (stressful--'nuff said), spending time and energy preparing my talks, and exposing myself emotionally in a charged venue, I get to pay the ASA.
According to their website, it is a discounted rate. (Gee. Thanks.) In EVERY OTHER conference related speaking engagement I have ever had, I have been given free registration. Even for small organizations that could not afford to pay transportation/hotel/honorarium fees. The registration was free.
Can I afford the $135? Yes. That's not the point. The point is the ASA is, in part, drawing in conference participants (and income) *because* of the work my fellow speakers and I are putting together. We are the value added of the conference.
I wrote a polite email to the organizers pointing some of this out. I received a curt response thanking me for my concerns and a promise to discuss it with the powers that be.
So the ironic conclusion: I am paying, in real dollars, lost work, and personal 'cost', to present in 2 panels for an organization I am not sure I want to belong to because I feel I owe it to my community of fellow travelers.
What's wrong with this picture?
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5 comments:
Even Autism Network International, which has far less money than the ASA, provides free registration, food, room and board for presenters. Something is really wrong here.
The phrase is Jim Sinclairs, I like it and use it a lot, however I did myself no favours about a month or so ago, when I declared at a supposedly Aspie meeting that I had not come to listen to self narrating zoo exhibits thus alienating myself from the speakers. I hope Wendy Lawson forgave me for that, as she has seen me in action before, but I guess it was a bit uncivil to the other speakers, however if it makes them think twice about how to present in future, it maybe was worth saying, because someone has to say the unpleasant things.
Its a pain having to pay for the privelege to though. I had to pay my hotel bill for the NAS international conference, and I have had to pay for the privelege at presenting at other academic events, there is a limit and I have exceeded it now.rjzxrrym
I'm more than a little miffed with ASA myself.
I emailed the conference organizer and he was dismissive, so I emailed him with exact percentages and he forwarded it to someone else with a "help"-in other words, TOTALLY IGNORED that NTs get a 52% discount for presenting, and autistics get a 4% INCREASE.
And he couldnt see that the issues were fairness and the rules changing. It used to be that the day you presented was free. And then they go and change it and wonder why people (particularly people like me, who really CAN'T afford the $135) are upset about it.
And they call US clueless...
Lisa, I won't be able to attend but Jim will be there.
And, if I may, the Autism Advocacy conference Jim is planning for October 27 is FREE and OPEN to the public.
An easier question would be "What's RIGHT with this picture?"
Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?
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